Insert _____ possum/raccoon/squirrel joke here, if you must.

But don't laugh. A West Virginia hot dog has nothing to do with roadkill, and it's not simply a hot dog eaten in West Virginia either. It is a regional specialty with its own rules, legions of die-hard fans, even its own website. A true West Virginia hot dog is slathered in bean-less beef chili and topped with mustard, coleslaw and chopped onions, then quickly "steamed" in a microwave to soften the bun.

On a recent trip to Welch, WV (don't ask), I had a couple for lunch at a gas station/lunch counter/hunting supply shop near the town of Beckley. They were $1.29 for two, with creamy homemade slaw spooned out of a Tupperware container. The sweet gooeyness of the steamed bun reminded me of Chinese pork buns, cut by the acrid bit of the fresh white onions. I ate while perusing Polaroids of dead buck deer and other hunting trophies pined to the wall, and came out with a strange urge to learn how to use a shotgun.

I've always wanted to throw my own pig pickin,' and my departure from North Carolina finally gave me an excuse. So I went for it - whole hog, if you will, earlier this spring.

A pig pickin,' known in other parts of the country as a hog roast, or simply, a barbecue, is a Carolina tradition involving a hog, a converted oil drum cooker and a lot of time.

Pickin' (ALWAYS drop the 'g') have been a stable of church fundraisers, family reunions and political rallies in the South since long before the Civil War, as pork was always much cheaper than beef. You can't feed 100 people much more cheaply than with a nice hog and all the fixin's - baked beans, hush puppies, slaw and sweet tea.

At first I thought this was some fake product that someone came up with, but apparently it's fairly popular in the south (coming to other parts of the country later this year). It's called Drank, and it takes a different track than all of the energy drinks that are on the market now. In fact, it has the opposite result: it makes you relaxed!

The press release says that it's made with melatonin, rose hips, and valerian, and is being pushed as the "anti-energy drink." The slogan is "slow your roll," and the company encourages people to drink it for "extreme relaxation" and to have a "stress-free state of mind."

I'm surprised no one has thought of the name Drank for a drink before. Someone should come out with one called Drink! I doubt that Drunk! would go over well.

Burgoo who?

Burgoo is a traditional Kentucky stew of multiple meats (at least three) and a bounty of veggies simmered down for hours until they break down to a uniform consistency. The standard sentiment is that if you can still make out an okra pod or slice of carrot, keep cooking 'cause it ain't burgoo yet -- but as the dish is usually made in such massive quantities (we're talking GALLONS), most regular utensils will just sink down into the mire.

So - what's a burgoo chef to do? Well, many Kentucky restaurants rely on 2x4 studs, and folks at community cookouts and church festivals often use rakes to stir the stuff while perched above on chairs as they tend giant pots set over open wood fires. The flavor and texture are said to be reminiscent of mulligan stew, and my North Carolina born husband swears it's a kissing cousin to Brunswick stew, but the guests at our yearly Kentucky Derby soiree have taken to calling it "The Liquid Meat." That is, when their mouths aren't crammed full of the 'goo.

AOL Food has brewed up an iced tea-stravaganza! Get recipes, tips & tricks with How to Brew Iced Tea, read our ongoing Bottled Iced Tea Reviews, and slurp up fun historical and cultural facts in our Iced Tea Quiz. Don't forget to c'mon back to share your quiz scores, tea brewing strategies, and suggestions about what store-bought blends we should sample next.

Get sipping!

And we had a few things to say about Southern Sweet Tea a while back.

Bourbon balls not your thing? Try a Derby Pie instead, a fudge-sweet chocolate and nut confection invented at Prospect, Kentucky's Melrose Inn. Traditionally served around Derby time, the treat typically calls for walnuts or pecans and a splash of Kentucky bourbon. The Inn's former owners, the Kerns, have been trying to protect its rights to the name "Derby Pie" by filing various lawsuits over the years - even Bon Appetit was no match for the Kerns, losing the right to print recipes using the name in 1987. So if you're looking for a good recipe you may need to try searching "chocolate chess pie" or "Kentucky bourbon pie" or "Thoroughbred pie" instead.

Epicurious has a nice-looking one, for a "chocolate pecan chess pie." I'm planning on making two a little later, to take to a Derby party this afternoon. Now, all I need is a giant hat...

Lisa, over at My Own Sweet Thyme, has a lovely post with a recipe about her aunt's "brownie pie" - supposedly her aunt once worked for the Kerns and was afraid of being sued!

Is there a less appetizingly named food than the 'Hot Brown?' Louisville, Kentucky's culinary claim to fame doesn't look like much either - an open-faced turkey sandwich topped with bacon and smothered in Sauce Mornay (Béchamel with cheese), it resembles nothing so much as a junkyard covered in a layer of dirty snow, bits of this and that sticking out from the off-colored drifts.

The inelegant Hot Brown was born at downtown Louisville's thoroughly opulent Brown Hotel, supposedly whipped up from kitchen leftovers after a 1920s dinner dance, when hungry flappers fell upon the chef like a pack of wolves. If you're looking for an easy treat for your pre-Derby lunch, check out the original recipe on the Brown Hotel website. Feel free to substitute ham for the bacon, or add tomatoes, onions, etc.

I thought ya'll might care to know that the World Grits Festival kicks off today in St. George, South Carolina. The three-day festival will include grits grinding demos, a grits eating contest, corn shucking competition, and a "rolling in the grits" contest (ages 15 and up. Is that anything like "rolling in the hay," I wonder?).

The festival website features grits recipes like savory grits pies, syrup n' bacon grits, and deep fried grits and cheese. While I'll devour a plain old dish of grits with butter and salt any day, my favorite grits recipe is shrimp and grits, an old coastal Carolinas favorite. I like to fancy it up, stirring grated sharp white cheddar into the grits and topping with handfuls of crumbled bacon, chopped chives, caramelized onions and fresh fat shrimp sauteed in butter and garlic. Serve it with biscuits for brunch or try it with a green salad for an easy but elegant Sunday dinner.

Love cocktails? Spirits? Want to know how to make your own bitters, infused syrups or tinctures? Interested in bartending techniques or the history of the craft? Or, heck, do you like to drink? Brothers and sisters, have I got an event for you. . .

Tales Of The Cocktail is the only event of its kind. From July 16-20th bartenders, spirit representatives, notable authors, mixologists and enthusiastic barflies will gather in New Orleans to celebrate, attend seminars and drink a whole bunch of hooch. Tickets are available on the TOTC site. Hope to see you there.

Additionally, I've been invited to be a participating writer for the all-star blog site that they are putting together for the event, Talesblog.com. In the coming months, we will be previewing the events, seminars and notable participants of this wonderful event. I guarantee you won't find a giddier bunch.

Chef Paul Prudhomme was setting up his tent at the Zurich Classic (golf) in New Orleans when he felt something on his arm and thought he was stung by a bee.

When he opened his shirt sleeve, a .22 calibre bullet fell to the ground!

Fortunately for Chef Prudhomme, the bullet was apparently not aimed at him, but had simply fallen, probably shot from somewhere within a mile-and-a-half radius of the golf course.The chef's shirt was torn and his skin was cut, but he was back to cooking within five minutes.

So he wasn't shot at, but I still like to think that chefs, given what they do in their tiny restaurant kitchens, are invincible.

What is it about Southerners and coconut cake? Maybe the thick drifts of ivory icing remind us of the snow we don't get. Maybe the lacy curls of coconut call to mind the frilled white gowns at the debutante balls we're (still, seriously) so fond of.

Though, in what's perhaps a sign of the changin' times in the New South, the best "classic Southern" coconut cake I've ever tasted was from a Thai restaurant near where I grew up in Durham, North Carolina.

I adore the looks of this Southern coconut cake from Big City, Little Kitchen, adapted from Gourmet Magazine. So light and soft. I'd like to make this on a Sunday afternoon and take a fat slice out to the veranda with a good book. If I had a veranda.

I know. For shame, for shame. I went to New Orleans and I ended up eating in places where Tony Bourdain would never go like Acme Oyster House in the French Quarter. So call me Rachael Ray for a day.

I don't mind because it was at Acme that I had my first taste of grilled oysters. I may not ever be able to go back to eating oysters raw again. If you've never had oysters prepared this way, let me tell you that it's quite deliciously obscene. First the oysters are drowned in garlic butter (I think), then suffocated under cheese. The oysters in the shells are thrown on the grill until the shells are charred to black and the oysters are screaming for mercy under the cheese. I couldn't help but throw a few splashes of hot sauce on there, too. Hey, they were already blasphemed with all that other stuff, so I didn't feel to bad.

I'm assuming that you didn't take the day off from work to run half-naked through the streets of your neighborhood in celebration of Mardi Gras, which probably means you didn't start your day with Hurricanes and Brandy Milk Punches at 7 AM.

Starting the day with cafe au lait -- French for "coffee with milk" -- is a better option. It's not a latte. Cafe au lait is drip coffee with hot milk. After years and years of drinking coffee black -- no sugar, no cream, no love, baby -- I conceded to trying coffee with milk because I "had to" when I was at Cafe du Monde last month. I have to say, I have been drinking it this way at home for the last month since I've been back.

Oh, okay, so I'm using soy instead of regular milk.

When Slashfood alum Nick Vagnoni wrote about fish in Florida restaurants being served under misleading guises a year-and-a-half ago, we thought that officials would take care of the problem.

Apparently, a year-and-a-half later, the problem is still around. The Statesman Journal is reporting that restaurants in many parts of Florida are still passing off Asian catfish, tilapia or other cheaper species like emperor fish, hake, sutchi, bream and green weakfish as grouper. It's not the other fish are unhealthy or taste bad. In fact, it probably tastes just fine. It's that real grouper costs something like $20 a pound and the other fish are much cheaper.

Why don't restaurants just serve whatever fake grouper they're serving as what they really are?

We're being a little lazy this Sunday afternoon because we're anxiously watching the two conference championship games on TV, but that hasn't stopped us from doing the research we need to do to get ready for THE Sunday afternoon of pro football, the Super Bowl.

Yes, the Super Bowl is two weeks away, and we're trying to put together our menu. We came across Alabama Pulled Pork Sandwiches, as made by Recipe Girl from an original recipe in Cooking Light magazine. The recipe is slightly different from a traditional pulled pork because it uses pork tenderloin. Additionally, the sandwiches are made with sweet potato biscuits rather than rolls or buns, but perhaps the most surprising thing is that the barbecue sauce is white.